Melanie's Pro-Choice Bagel Emporium

by Melanie Ross Levin, Outreach Manager
National Women’s Law Center

Now that someone has opened a pro-life pharmacy, I’ve decided that I’m going to open a pro-choice bagel shop.

Features to include:

• When you order a baker’s dozen, you’ll get 12 bagels and a condom.
• Coffee cups will promote the local women’s health clinics.
• Instead of the typical schmoozing while you wait for your bagel to toast, we’ll use that time for peer-to-peer sex education.
• Instead of green bagels for Saint Patrick’s Day, my shop will serve pink bagels on the anniversary of Griswold v. Connecticut (that’s the Supreme Court ruling that invalidated anti-birth control laws, FYI).
• Our menu items will include Margaret Sanger Salad, Guttmacher Garlic Bagels, Alfred Kinsey Kippers, Estelle Griswold Guacamole, and Roe Rye Bread.
• For special occasions we will hand out stickers that read, “Dough the Right Thing — Stand Up for Choice” and “I’m Pro-Choice and I Eat Bagels.”

So, if you’re also pro-choice, and you like bagels too, come on down to Melanie’s Pro-Choice Bagel Emporium. Opening soon, nowhere near the DMC Pharmacy.

(Or, if you’re on a low-carb diet, you could always just go to our website and get some resources on dealing with pharmacy refusals.)